A Behind the Scenes Look at a New Zealand Latter-day Saint Family

Malakai and Lelini Lelenoa thought they had it all. They had a young, growing family and a fun social circle with friends who had kids the same age as theirs.

They were enjoying activities together and living what they thought was “the good life” in the South Auckland suburb of Otara. But something just didn’t seem quite right to them.

With both having served as missionaries at the same time for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the island nation of Kiribati, they became reacquainted while attending Brigham Young University–Hawaii.

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After a short courtship, Malakai and Lelini were married in the Church’s Hamilton New Zealand Temple, and three children—a boy, Ofa; a girl, Mary-Jane; and then another boy, Uate (pronounced Wa-too) arrived over the next few years.

Malakai had a job with an engineering firm and Lelini was able to stay at home with their children.

But they felt a restlessness, a need to make further changes in their lives.

“We felt like the world all around us was going in a direction that was opposite to the direction our Saviour, Jesus Christ, wanted us to live,” Lelini related. “We looked at other people’s attitudes, the language we heard people using, and the way they treated each other. We just knew we wanted something different.”

It’s not as if the Lelenoa’s were living bad lives. They were giving service to friends and neighbours, with Lelini serving as the president of the children’s organisation in their Otara congregation. Meanwhile, Malakai had been asked to come to his stake president’s office to be interviewed to serve in the leadership of his congregation’s men's group. That interview was a turning point for their family.

His wise leader impressed upon Malakai the importance of setting his own path in life, and not following one promoted by others. He told Malakai that how he lived had an influence on more than those he worked with every day—it had an even greater influence on his children. He reminded Malakai that he was always being watched by them.

“He asked me how old my children were. After I told him, he said to be very careful because my children were watching me all the time,” Malakai said. “I had to think about that—what kind of example was I being for my children?”

“It became clear to us that we needed to change our environment and put ourselves on a different path, not influenced any longer by what other people did.”

The Lelenoa’s had discussed the possibility of Lelini going back to school to finish her nursing studies. They knew this would spur a series of other temporary changes and sacrifices that were going to have to be made in their lives. But they also believed making them would strengthen their family in the long run.

The first major change was Malakai agreeing to temporarily quit his job and stay home to take care of their children until she finished. “We prayed about it, and this was the answer we received,” Lelini said.

“We knew it would be hard, that we would have to give up some things while I finished my schooling,” she continued.

“But Malakai and I discussed it and then we prayed for guidance,” she said. “We truly felt it was the path that we should take at this time in our lives.”

While there were the natural challenges that came with the resulting reduction in income, Lelini says there have been many benefits the family has received as they chose to act on their plans. One of those is a greater sense of gratitude for the daily blessings they receive.

Lelini said since their children are still relatively young, they’ve used this time to help them learn to have realistic expectations. “We felt like now was the time to teach them that whatever they receive—whatever they eat, experience, or whatever it is that we’re doing, in their minds ‘this is the best thing ever,’” she said.

Lelini said she and Malakai hope that as their children get older, they will have developed a more realistic vision of what they really need in life, rather than what social media and other people may say are “needs.”

“So, while we’ve decided that the time is now for us to struggle and sacrifice, we’re hoping they will have a perspective of gratitude—they have food, they have clothing, they have everything they really need, and whatever it is, it’s ‘the best thing ever!’”

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They also have a firm knowledge of the blessings that come from paying tithes and offerings. Malakai says there are clear blessings they have received as they have obeyed this commandment.

“Money comes and then it’s spent so quickly, and often we had nothing to show for it,” he said. “But as we made the decision to pay our tithing, we found that we quickly became more aware of the income that we had and where it was going.”

Malakai continued, “We know we were blessed with that knowledge, and we saw miracles happen as a result of paying our tithing. We’re not rich by any means, but we have everything we need at this time, and our family has been provided for sufficiently because we’ve willingly kept that commandment.”

Shortly after they were interviewed by Pacific Newsroom, the Lelenoa’s welcomed a baby girl, Alice, into their home. This gives them two boys and two girls in their family. Now that the baby has arrived, Lelini will concentrate on finishing her last semester of nursing classes.

When she’s finished, then Malakai will take his turn in the classroom getting some engineering studies completed that will benefit him when he returns to work. As they look toward their future, they want to ensure that their family is a "forever" family by keeping the promises they have made in the temple.

Both Lelini and Malakai came from homes that experienced the breakup of their parents’ marriages, and they are determined that this will not be the case of theirs.

They hope that by staying close to the Lord and to each other, and working hard, their children will be blessed.

“That’s why we’re doing all that we can right now to make sure that we are in sync with the Lord, and making the choices that 20 years from today will see us as a happy eternal family, keeping our covenants and staying close to Him,” Lelini said.

“That is much more important to us right now than having a new house, or a new car. That is the true, happy-ever-after ending that we know we want. And when we get to that point, we will be able to look back and say that it was so worth it!”

Read more and watch videos about the Church’s teachings on seeking and receiving personal inspiration as a guide through life.

Read more about the Church’s teachings on families, temples and covenants, and temporal and spiritual self-reliance.